Child about to start school

Help! It’s almost time for elementary school. Your child is almost 4 years old but isn’t potty-trained during the day yet. What should you do? You’re wondering if your child will be ready to start first grade. How can you help your child become potty-trained as soon as possible? And how should you discuss this with the school?

Get started right away, but don't rush!

It makes sense that you’re thinking: “Okay, what’s the quickest way to do this?” But potty training on the fast track doesn’t work. Children don’t fully grasp what’s happening when they receive rewards or punishments. So, as difficult as it may be: start with step 1 and go through all the steps. With older children, it can go faster, because they often already understand and can do more. Encouragement and choosing set times are very important. It also helps if you, as a parent, can devote more time and attention to potty training. So set aside a moment every day to practice, and in the final step, maybe even take a few days off to practice at home with your child. Most importantly: don’t rush or skip steps. Otherwise, you’ll often end up back at square one, and it will take longer.

What skills should your child have when starting school?

Most elementary schools expect children in first grade to be fully potty-trained. This means not only being able to tell when they need to go, but also going to the bathroom on their own, putting on and taking off their pants or leggings, wiping, washing their hands, and returning to the classroom. Sometimes children are not allowed to start elementary school if they cannot do this. Check with your child’s school.

Don't put pressure on your child

Many parents who are stressed themselves find it hard to stay positive. But your child is really doing their best. So don’t say, “You can’t go to school if you still pee in your pants!” That will make your child sad, and it won’t help them potty train any faster. Instead, say: “You’re already a big girl (or boy). All the kids at school use the toilet. We’re going to practice together so you can do it just as well soon!”

In conversation with the school

Most schools invite parents and children for a visit before your child actually starts. Be sure to mention right away that your child is still in the process of potty training. Ask what the rules are once your child starts first grade. Will your child be allowed to start? Will your child attend school full-time right away? Who will change your child’s diaper if he or she has an accident? This will help you be well-prepared and explain the situation to your child.

Getting used to school

Is your child starting school for the first time? Be sure to show them the restrooms right away. Ask the teacher how things will work in the classroom. Does a child need to go to the teacher if they need to use the restroom? Is there a “restroom line” for children going to the restroom? How can a child ask for help? Explain this to your child. You can practice this at home.