Running out of time? Keep it relaxed

Breathe in, breathe out

‍You mightfeel like you don’t have enough time. For your little one, it’s important that you go through all the steps and don’t rush. Try to stay calm—so don’t say that they need to go faster. Stay in the here and now: you’ve started, and that’s what matters. So start with step 1 and calmly go through all the steps. Pay close attention to what your child can already do and follow their lead. Keep it playful and lighthearted, for example by making jokes about it and reading books. Give your child and yourself lots of compliments while practicing. Make the bathroom a cozy place and tell others that you’re working on potty training. You’re a team—you can do this!

Encouraging children when they're learning something new

When children notice that their parent is under a lot of stress, they often pick up on it. Sometimes this makes them scared or angry, and then they don’t want to do it anymore. Or they might freeze up, or act out. Or they might try really hard to force out a little pee or poop—even when they don’t actually need to go. Potty training is all about your child learning to sense what’s happening in their little body. And then realizing: when I need to go, I go to the potty or the toilet, just like grown-ups. That’s something your child has to learn through lots of practice. Encouragement helps, but getting angry or telling them to hurry up actually doesn’t help.

Don't force or be strict

Forcing your child to go to the bathroom won’t help. It might make your child scared or upset, which usually just makes it take longer. Try to encourage your child, keep inviting them, and let them practice in a playful way. Tell your child how big they are. How wonderful that they want to practice! Good job! Even if you feel the pressure yourself because your child is about to start school.

Take your child through the process step by step. Make sure the bathroom is a pleasant place and take your child with you when you go. Practice using the potty with stuffed animals or dolls. Or do a little dance or sing a song when you go to the bathroom. Give your child lots of praise, even for small steps. Being strict usually doesn’t help; being clear does. And be consistent with practice. You can agree that everyone in the family goes to the bathroom before dinner, including your child. “It’s okay if nothing comes out, but we’re going to give it a try. Just like everyone else. Then we’ll have a nice meal.” You can be clear without getting angry or looking stern. Give a compliment or a high five right after they try.

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