One approach with all educators

Potty training works best if everyone who cares for your child uses the same words and routines. Whether it concerns you and your partner, grandparents, a babysitter or the daycare: one approach prevents confusion and gives your child peace of mind. In this article you can read why alignment is so important, what agreements you make together and how you organize this practically. You will receive short example sentences and useful tools to get everyone on the same page – without discussions or “potty police”.

1. Why one approach works

Kids learn through repetition and knowing what to expect. If at home, the norm is to “just try after fruit”, but grandpa says “that’s not necessary”, your child will get confused. Consistency ensures:

Safety: using the same words and moments in different places.
Faster learning: less explanation needed, more chances for successful moments.
Less struggle: everyone reacts briefly and neutrally to accidents, and celebrates successes in the same way.

Think of alignment as a team agreement: not strict or harsh, but clear enough that your child understands what is expected.

2. Speak the same language: choose your potty words

Start with language. Short, simple words help your child understand what's happening. Choose your “word set” together and use it everywhere.

Basic set of words: pee, poop, wet, dry, potty, toilet, wash hands.
Short sentences: “Let's give it a try.” “Pants down, sit, done.”
Neutral about accidents: “Oops, wet. Let's clean it up.”

Make it concrete with a small list in the app group or on an A4 sheet on the fridge. This way, your partner, grandparents, and daycare use the same language. That saves explanation and discussion.

3. Establish fixed routines (and keep them simple)

Besides words, choose moments. Routines make potty training predictable. Keep it simple, for example:

At home: after waking up, after eating, before going outside, before sleeping.
Daycares: after fruit, before playing outside, after the midday nap.
On the go: try before leaving, and again upon arrival.

Everywhere, use the same sequence of steps (icons help!): pants down → sit → wipe → flush → wash hands. The power is in repetition; not in “trying for a long time”. Sitting for 1–2 minutes is enough.

4. Collaborate with daycare, grandparents, and co-parents

Alignment only works if everyone knows what's up. Make it easy for others to participate:

Share a short A4 sheet with: potty words, fixed moments, reactions to success/accidents, and what you don't do (no punishments, no shame, no discussion).
Create an app group (parents + regular babysitter/grandparents): share the A4, ask questions, give updates (“Dry twice after the nap today 🎉”).
Daycares: ask about their fixed moments and align with them. Provide a set of spare clothes and agree on how they provide feedback (verbally when picking up or via notebook).
Co-parenting: choose the same words and 2–3 identical practice moments per day. Better small and the same, than big and different.

Be friendly and clear: “This helps our child the most. Can you also use these words and moments?” Most educators are happy to help if they know exactly what to do.

5. What if tempo or opinion differs?

Not everyone thinks the same way about potty training. Here's how to keep it constructive:

Talk about the goal: "We want to keep things calm and predictable. That's why we use short moments and the same words."
Acknowledge differences: "I understand you had a different approach in the past. Shall we try these agreements for 2 weeks and then look at it together?"
Keep the child central: "He/she gets confused if it's different everywhere. Let's keep it as simple as possible."
Relapse = normal: Don't worry if it gets a little tough. Just take one step back (more practice, less pressure) - using the same words and moments.

Don't argue about "right/wrong". Emphasize that predictability speeds up learning and keeps the atmosphere positive.

6. Practical tools to keep everyone on the same page

Mini-protocol (A4): one page with words, fixed moments, sequence of steps and reactions. Put it at home, share it digitally.
Pictograms/poster: hang it by the potty or toilet. Children understand the order without much explanation.
Clothing basket and bag: easy pants with elastic, sets of spare clothing (home/babysitter/Daycares), plastic or laundry bag.
Short handover: "Today: tried twice, succeeded once, one accident. Atmosphere was fine." Done. No long analyses needed.

The less hassle about the side issues, the more attention remains for your child.

7. Example sentences and scripts (for home, Daycares and grandpa/grandma)

Short, clear language

Start: "We're going to try for a bit. Then you can continue playing."
During: "Are we sitting comfortably? One minute is enough."
Success: "Great that you listened to your tummy! High five."
No result: “Nothing today. That's also practice.”
Accident: "Oops, wet. We'll clean it up."

Coordination with other educators

Suggestion: "We use 'pee/poo/wet/dry/potty'. Would you like to use them too?"
Moments: "At home we do it after eating and before going outside. Is that possible with you too?"
Relapse: "It's a bit messy after the holiday. Let's do an extra week of fixed moments."

Frequently asked questions

What if the Daycares uses other words?

Ask if they want to take over your words; usually that's possible. If not, choose words that are close to each other and explain to your child that "peeing" is the same as "trying for a bit". The most important thing is that the moments and the steps remain the same.

My partner is much stricter. How do we come together?

Talk about the effect on your child. Strictness or pressure often leads to more resistance and accidents. Agree on: short sentences, short sitting times (1–2 minutes), neutral reactions to accidents, small celebrations for successes. Try it for 2 weeks and evaluate based on calmness and progress.

Grandpa/Grandma say: “We don’t need to do that at our house.” What now?

Thank them for their help and explain that consistency gives your child security. Ask for three simple things: same words, two fixed try-out moments, and neutral reactions to accidents. The simpler your request, the more likely they are to participate.

We switch houses every week (co-parenting). Isn't that confusing?

Not if the words and key moments are the same. Choose 2–3 fixed moments per day together and the same steps poster. Share short updates during handover (“Successful 1x today, wet 1x; continuing calmly”).

Can the daycare reward with stickers?

Keep it small and consistent: a smile, thumbs up, or short compliments. Big rewards sometimes only work for a short time and can create pressure. If you do use stickers, agree together when and what for (e.g., for trying, not just for “something in the potty”).

Summary

A consistent approach with all caregivers makes potty training clear and calm for your child. Choose the same potty words together, establish simple routines, and react briefly and neutrally to accidents. Use practical tools (A4 overview, pictograms, app group) and agree on how to provide short feedback. Differences in pace or opinion? Keep the child central and try the same agreements consistently for two weeks. With this consistency, you build trust and success – at home, with grandparents, and at daycare.