How to get started: the potty training step-by-step plan

Potty training might seem like a big and complicated step, but with a clear step-by-step plan, it becomes manageable and achievable. This article explains how the 4-step method works, why this structure suits children's development, and how you, as a parent, can take on the role of a coach. This way, you can start with confidence and know what to expect.

1. Why a step-by-step plan helps

Children learn best when new things are predictable and clear. A step-by-step plan provides guidance: you know where you are, what the next step is, and how to go back a step if things don't work out. For your child, this means peace and security. For you as a parent, it means less doubt and more overview.

2. Step 1 – Sparking interest

The first step is all about curiosity and getting acquainted. Awareness is crucial: your child learns that there's such a thing as 'going to the toilet yourself' and that it involves steps. By seeing examples and practicing playfully, your child understands what's expected and becomes more motivated to participate.

• Show the potty: put it in a fixed place and let your child sit on it with clothes on.
• Use toilet words: simple words like 'pee,' 'poop,' 'wet,' 'dry.'
• Books and play: read a story together or let a stuffed animal 'practice.'

This phase isn't about results, but about creating a familiar feeling with the potty and the toilet. A toddler who sees a doll going on the potty increasingly understands which steps will soon belong to him or her as well.

3. Step 2 – First successful experiences

In this step, your child learns that the feeling of needing to go can actually lead to something: something in the potty or the toilet. The goal isn't for it to always work right away, but for your child to experience: 'If I feel like I need to go, I can do something about it.' That insight brings pride and strengthens the motivation to try more often.

• Short sitting moments: let your child sit for a moment after getting up, eating, or taking a nap.
• Calmly name it: 'Your pants are dry, now we'll try for a bit.'
• Celebrate small wins: a smile, high five, or 'bye pee!' when flushing.

The first pee or poop in the potty is often a big moment. Keep it light: mention the pride and the attempt, not just the result. This way, your child learns that trying is also worthwhile.

4. Step 3 – Practicing and building routine

After the first successes, repetition is needed to make it a habit. In this phase, your child learns to understand that there are fixed moments when you stop playing for a moment to go to the potty. By always using the same words and order, predictability arises and confidence grows that it will work.

• Fixed moments: after getting up, after eating, before going outside, before sleeping.
• Repetition: always use the same words and order.
• Neutral about accidents: clean up briefly, done. No punishment, no shame.

This phase is often the longest. Accidents happen, but the habit grows every day. Your child increasingly understands what is expected and gains confidence in their own abilities.

5. Step 4 – Diaper off and continue independently

The final step is when the diaper comes off and your child does most of it themselves. This requires motivation: your child wants to join in as a “big kid” and has enough confidence that they can do it. It is also the phase in which routines go outdoors and in which your child really feels that they can do this themselves.

• Start at home: short blocks without a diaper, just underwear.
• Also outdoors: stick to routines, bring spare clothes.
• Nighttime potty training: usually comes later. Focus on the day first.

Independence doesn't mean you're no longer involved as a parent. You continue to coach: predictably, resolutely, and cheerfully. Small reminders, support with accidents, and maintaining routines together remain important.

6. How the steps interlock

The steps follow each other logically, but you can always take a step back if necessary. For example, after a vacation or illness, you may go back to more practice moments for a while. That is not a setback, but a normal part of the learning process.

7. Your role as a parent

You are not a police officer who controls, but a coach who guides. That means:

• Be patient: not every day is the same.
• Stay positive: humor helps relieve tension.
• Radiate calm: children sense your emotions perfectly.

By remaining resolute, predictable, and cheerful, you give your child the best chance to succeed.

Frequently asked questions

Should I remove the diaper all at once?

Not immediately. Start with practice moments. If you notice that your child stays dry for a longer period of time, you can gradually leave out the diaper at home.

How long does each step take?

That differs per child. Sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes months. There is no fixed time; follow your child's pace.

What if my child shows no interest?

Then continue to prepare playfully: potty in sight, reading books, using toilet words. Try again later. You don't have to force it.

What if my child regresses?

That is normal. Resume the routines and provide support. Often it is stable again within a few days or weeks.

Summary

Potty training consists of four clear steps: arousing interest, initial successes, building routine, and removing the diaper. Each step has its own value: your child becomes aware, understands what is expected, builds motivation, and gains confidence in their own abilities. Every child goes through this at their own pace. As a parent, you are the coach who provides structure, patience, and a positive atmosphere. By guiding predictably and celebrating small successes, you make potty training achievable and...