Does it help to be strict or to force my child?

Forcing your child to go to the bathroom doesn’t help. It can make your child feel scared or angry, which usually just makes the process take longer. And it doesn’t make things any more pleasant at home either. Try to encourage your child, keep inviting them, and let them practice in a playful way. Point out that your child is a big kid: how great that he or she wants to practice! Good job! Do this even if you feel the pressure of time, such as when your child is about to start school and isn’t potty trained yet.

Take your child through the process step by step. Make sure the bathroom is a pleasant place and let your child join you. Practice using the potty with stuffed animals or dolls. Or do a little dance or sing a song when you go to the bathroom. Give your child lots of praise, even for small steps.

Being strict usually doesn’t help, but being clear does. And consistency is key. Make it a regular habit for everyone in the family. You can agree that everyone in the family goes to the bathroom before dinner—including you and your child.

Then say: “It’s okay if you don’t pee or poop, but we’re going to give it a try anyway. Just like everyone else. Then we’ll have a nice meal.” You can be clear without getting angry or looking stern. Right after trying, give them a compliment or a high five.

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