Peeing in new places

• Many children find it nerve-wracking to poop or pee in a different toilet. Grandma and Grandpa’s toilet is different, after all. It sounds different. Or it’s higher off the ground. Or there’s water in it that your poop suddenly plops into. Or there are other people around the toilet. For example, in a restaurant or the library.
• Is your child feeling nervous? If so, he or she might be too afraid to go to the bathroom in time. As a result, your child might wet his or her pants or hold in a bowel movement for a long time—even if using the bathroom at home is already going well. So it’s a relief for both you and your child when using a different bathroom is no longer a source of anxiety.

What can you do? 

• Go with them to the bathroom the first few times. Even if you’ve been visiting people’s homes for years. It may feel familiar and routine to you, but for your child, using a new bathroom can be nerve-wracking every single time.
• Make sure your child always knows where the bathroom is. Show your child the bathroom as soon as you walk in. If your child doesn’t need to go right away, take some time to look around.
• For example, say: “I’ve never been here before either. Shall we go find the restroom together? Where do you think it is?”
• Tell them there are different kinds of toilets. Say something like, “Oh, how fun—this is what the toilet looks like here!” Let your child explore the toilet. What color is the toilet? What else do you see? What do you hear? Are there pretty pictures on the wall? Does this toilet look like the one at home?
• Have your child flush the toilet without there being any pee or poop in it. What do you see? What do you hear? Where is the toilet paper?
• Agree that your child will come to you when he or she needs to, and that you’ll go together.
• Don't lock the bathroom door. Go into the bathroom stall with your child. Or stay outside the door if your child can go on their own.
• You’ll know when your child is ready to go to the bathroom on their own. Your child might even tell you. For example: “I can do it by myself. You don’t need to come with me.”
• By continuing to practice this calmly, your child will learn that they can go to the bathroom not only at home, but also in other places.