Afraid to poop

Good to know

• Some children are willing to pee in the potty or on the toilet, but not poop. They find it scary or nerve-wracking. This is quite common.
• For your baby’s health, it’s important that they’re able to have a bowel movement. So it’s better to let your baby have a bowel movement in their diaper than not at all.
• Does your child often have large or hard stools? Or haven’t they had a bowel movement in a few days? If so, see your doctor. Otherwise, going to the bathroom will become increasingly painful—and difficult. This could make going to the bathroom a scary experience for your child.
• Some babies have loose stools. It’s hard for them to hold it in. As a result, they have little control. This makes potty training more difficult. Check your child’s diet or see your doctor.
• Where does that fear come from?Many children feel like they’re losing a part of their body when they poop. That might sound strange to us, but it’s really true.
• Your child might also be afraid of pooping in the toilet. It might splash or make a loud splash. Or your child might be afraid that the poop will disappear completely afterward.

What can you do?

• Describe what your child is feeling and reassure them. For example, say: “You find using the potty a little scary, don’t you? I understand. You’ll get the hang of it.”
• Flush the poop from the diaper or potty down the toilet. Tell your child that the poop is now joining the other poop. Bye-bye, poop!
• Explain that poop comes out of the tummy or the bottom. It’s good for your body. It’s just a natural part of life. All people and animals poop. Even the cat or the dog. Take your child with you to the bathroom when you need to go, if you’re comfortable with that.
• Make sure your child can sit comfortably on the potty or toilet. Their feet should be flat on the floor or on a step stool. Their knees should be slightly higher, and they shouldn’t lean too far forward. Older children often find it more comfortable to use a toilet seat reducer on the toilet than a potty.
• Make sure you’re relaxed and breathing comfortably. Read a book together, sing a song, or blow bubbles. Don’t put on a video—it will distract you from the experience.
• Make sure your child gets enough exercise, eats plenty of fiber, and drinks enough fluids.
• Take it slow. By continuing to practice at a gentle pace, your child will learn that they can also go number two on the potty or the toilet.